Infidelity & Affair Recovery Therapy in Utah County
Whether you’re trying to rebuild or trying to figure out what comes next, you don’t have to navigate the aftermath of infidelity alone. Gottman-trained therapists in Orem, Pleasant Grove, and online.
- Gottman-trained therapists
- Couples & individual sessions
- In person or online
Does this sound familiar?
- “I don’t know if I can ever trust again.”
- “I hate what I did, and I don’t know how to fix it.”
- “Every detail I learn makes it worse.”
- “I don’t know if we should stay together.”
- “I feel like I’m falling apart.”
Whatever happens next, you don’t have to figure it out alone.
Betrayal Changes Everything. It Doesn’t Have to End Everything.
Discovering an affair, or being the one who had one, can feel like the ground has disappeared. The shock, grief, anger, and shame that follow infidelity are intense, and they don’t follow a neat timeline. Some days feel manageable. Others feel unbearable, even months later.
There is no single right response to infidelity. Some couples decide to rebuild and go on to have relationships that are more honest and connected than before. Others decide the relationship has run its course, and find their way to a healthier separate future. Both are legitimate outcomes, and therapy can support either path.
At Willow Therapy, several of our therapists are trained in the Gottman Method, which includes a specific, research-based protocol for affair recovery. You may also want to read about our broader couples counseling.
You don’t have to know yet whether you’re staying or leaving. You just have to take the next step.
What Betrayal Can Feel Like
The aftermath of infidelity often looks and feels like trauma, for the betrayed partner especially. You may recognize some of these.
Intrusive thoughts & images
Unwanted memories or imagined scenes related to the affair that intrude on your day.
Hypervigilance & checking
Checking phones, locations, or accounts, and struggling to stop even when you want to.
Waves of anger, grief, or shock
Intense emotions that can hit unexpectedly, long after you learned the truth.
Shame or self-blame, on either side
The betrayed partner wondering what they did wrong, and the partner who was unfaithful carrying guilt and self-loathing.
Difficulty concentrating or functioning
Trouble focusing at work or with your kids while your mind keeps returning to the betrayal.
Conflicting feelings about the relationship
Wanting to stay and wanting to leave, sometimes within the same conversation.
Breakdown in communication
Conversations that spiral into blame, defensiveness, or silence instead of resolution.
Loss of trust in your own judgment
Wondering how you missed it, or whether you can trust your read on people going forward.
Physical symptoms of stress
Trouble sleeping or eating, and a body that stays on high alert.
Atone, Attune, Attach
The Gottman Method’s framework for affair recovery describes the arc many couples move through.
Atone
The partner who was unfaithful takes full responsibility, without minimizing, defending, or blaming. This is the foundation everything else is built on.
Attune
Both partners learn to understand and respond to each other’s emotional experience, including the pain of betrayal and, when relevant, what led to the affair.
Attach
Couples rebuild trust, intimacy, and a shared vision for the relationship, if that is the direction both partners choose.
Who We Support
Recovery looks different depending on where you are and what you both want.
Couples who want to rebuild
Both partners are willing to do the work of understanding what happened, rebuilding trust, and deciding what the relationship becomes next.
Couples who aren’t sure yet
You don’t need to have decided to stay together to start therapy. Many couples use early sessions to get clarity.
The partner who was betrayed
Individual support for the shock, grief, and trust injuries of discovering infidelity, with or without your partner in the room.
The partner who was unfaithful
Individual support to understand what led to the affair and how to take genuine responsibility, which is often part of successful recovery.
Couples considering separation or divorce
If the relationship ends, individual support can help you process the loss. See our therapy after divorce page.
Co-parents after a betrayal
When a relationship doesn’t survive infidelity but children are involved, co-parenting counseling can help you build a working partnership.
How Therapy Helps
Our therapists use evidence-based approaches designed for the specific challenges of betrayal.
Gottman Method
A structured, research-based approach with a specific protocol for affair recovery, often called Atone, Attune, Attach. Learn about the Gottman Method.
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
Focuses on the attachment injury underneath betrayal, helping both partners understand and respond to each other’s deeper emotional needs.
Individual sessions alongside couples work
Both partners often benefit from individual sessions, either with the same therapist or a separate one, to process their own experience.
Trauma-informed care
Discovering an affair can produce real trauma responses, like hypervigilance and intrusive thoughts. Trauma-informed care addresses these directly. Learn about trauma-focused therapy.
Structured disclosure
When appropriate, your therapist can help facilitate a full, honest disclosure in a structured way that reduces further harm, rather than piecemeal revelations that retraumatize the betrayed partner.
Rebuilding day-to-day trust
Concrete, practical steps for transparency and consistency that help trust rebuild over time, alongside the deeper emotional work.
What Working Together Looks Like
Every couple’s path is different, and there is no fixed timeline. Recovery often follows a path like this.
Stabilize the crisis
Early sessions focus on safety, containing the immediate crisis, and helping both partners function day to day.
Understand what happened
With your therapist’s help, the full picture comes into view, including what led to the affair and its full impact, often through structured disclosure.
Process the injury
The betrayed partner processes shock, grief, and anger, while the unfaithful partner works through shame and takes ownership without becoming defensive.
Decide together, or separately
Some couples move toward rebuilding. Others realize the relationship has run its course. Both are legitimate outcomes of doing the work.
Rebuild or move forward
If you stay together, you build new patterns of trust and connection. If you separate, therapy supports you individually through that transition.
Meet Our Gottman-Trained Couples Therapists
Every therapist at Willow works with couples, and these therapists have specific training in the Gottman Method or EFT. If working with a Gottman-trained therapist matters to you, let us know when you reach out. See our full marriage counseling team.
Hannah Wolverton
LMFT
Orem · Virtual
Gottman Method & EFT-informed care for rebuilding trust and connection
Meet Hannah →
Sierra Livermore
AMFT
Orem · Virtual
Gottman Method, EFT & Solution-Focused couples therapy
Meet Sierra →
Samuel Major
PhD, LMFT
Pleasant Grove · Virtual
Doctoral-level marriage counseling across all relationship stages
Meet Samuel →
Jeanna Cunningham
PhD, CMHC
Pleasant Grove · Virtual
Warm, doctoral-level support for couples rebuilding trust
Meet Jeanna →
Not sure who to choose? Call (801) 410-0542 or schedule online, and our team will help you find a good fit. See all therapist profiles →
If the relationship doesn’t survive, you still matter.
Our therapy after divorce page offers support for healing, rebuilding, and moving forward on your own terms.
Insurance & Payment
We accept most major insurance plans, including Select Health, Blue Cross Blue Shield, UnitedHealthcare, Aetna, and others. Coverage for couples sessions varies by plan, and some plans require a diagnosable individual condition to bill couples counseling. Individual sessions are typically covered as standard outpatient therapy.
Our team will verify your benefits and talk through your options, including self-pay, before your first appointment. Check your coverage →
Frequently Asked Questions
Can a relationship survive an affair?
Yes, for many couples. Research on structured affair recovery, including the Gottman Method’s protocols, shows that couples who do the work of full honesty, accountability, and rebuilding often go on to have strong, even stronger, relationships. It isn’t guaranteed, and it isn’t easy, but it is possible.
Do we have to decide whether to stay together before starting therapy?
No. Many couples start therapy specifically because they haven’t decided. Early sessions can help you get clarity, whether that means working toward rebuilding or realizing the relationship has ended.
What if I’m the one who was unfaithful and I don’t know how to fix this?
Showing up is a meaningful first step. Your therapist will help you understand what led to the affair, take full responsibility without minimizing or blaming your partner, and learn what genuine repair requires. This work is hard, and it is possible.
How much detail should I share about the affair?
This is something to work through with your therapist rather than decide alone. Some detail is often necessary for honesty and healing, but unstructured, ongoing disclosure of new details can retraumatize the betrayed partner. A therapist can help facilitate disclosure in a way that supports healing rather than harm.
Should we go to individual therapy or couples therapy?
Often both. Couples therapy addresses the relationship, while individual therapy gives each partner space to process their own experience, whether that’s betrayal trauma, shame, or grief. Your therapist can help you figure out what combination fits your situation.
Is affair recovery different from regular couples counseling?
Yes, in important ways. Betrayal creates a specific kind of injury, closer to trauma than ordinary conflict, and it requires approaches suited to that, like the Gottman Method’s affair recovery protocol or EFT’s attachment injury work, rather than general communication skills alone.
What if my partner won’t come to therapy?
You can still benefit from individual therapy to process what happened and get support for your own healing, whatever your partner decides. Some partners join later once they see the value of it.
How long does affair recovery take?
It varies widely depending on the couple, the circumstances, and how both partners engage. Many couples work through the most intensive phase over several months, though rebuilding trust fully often continues longer. Your therapist will give you a realistic sense of timeline after your first sessions.
Is couples therapy for infidelity covered by insurance?
Coverage for couples counseling varies by plan, and some insurance requires a diagnosable individual condition to bill couples sessions. Many clients also use individual sessions, which are more consistently covered, alongside couples work. Our team will verify your specific benefits and explain your options, including self-pay, before your first appointment.
How do I choose a therapist?
If working with a Gottman-trained therapist matters to you, let us know when you reach out and we’ll match you accordingly. Browse the profiles above, or call us at (801) 410-0542 and our team will help. See our full marriage counseling team.
Whatever Comes Next, You Don’t Have to Face It Alone
Schedule an appointment, together or on your own, in Orem, Pleasant Grove, or online.
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